


grounded.

by jotunhell



Category: Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 09:39:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16426922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jotunhell/pseuds/jotunhell
Summary: "Should I try to let you knowHow it kills me that you let me go.'Cause if I just let you goWithout ever letting you knowIt would be hard to keep movingWith all the loose ends we've left unsown."





	grounded.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rntskl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rntskl/gifts).



> Don't forget to listen to Planes by Moira and Neiman. Check out Ilyong's perspective, written by @rntskl. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16415420

Goyo's been told that he's selfish. He doesn't really know what that means until he finds himself standing there in the airport, keeping to the corners, and watching Ilyong wait for him.  
  
He sees him craning his neck and standing on his tiptoes just to see above the sea of people and on any other day, Goyo would've found that endearing but today it cuts through him a little bit. He wishes someone would tell Ilyong that he's not coming.  
  
  
Perhaps he is selfish but maybe it's not a bad thing. Maybe he gets to be a little selfish.

* * *

"Pupunta muna akong Amerika."  
  
Those words didn't make sense at all. He stared at Ilyong, waiting for the punchline, but it didn't come and Goyo felt like he was the joke instead.  
  
"Teka, teka.." Goyo chuckled, the emptiness not going amiss. "Hindi mo naman kailangan gawin 'yon, mahal."   
  
It wasn't just a suggestion; it was a plea. He wished Ilyong could see that.

 _'Wag mo 'kong iwan._  
  
Their fights were always different. Sometimes it was them flirting, sometimes it leads to rough kisses in the bedroom, other times it's just so bad that it leaves them to pieces.  
  
This was one of those times, where nothing mattered in the battlefield. It didn't matter who got hurt, or how deep the wound was, so long as they weren't the only one bleeding.  
  
Angry tears were streaking down their cheeks. Frustration sat on Goyo's chest, ugly and stinging. Ilyong was leaving him. No matter what he was going to say, he's leaving him.  
  
"Goyo naman! Please! Para sa'tin 'to dalawa!"  
  
That earned another empty laugh. "Hindi, hindi.." He paused and bit on his lip in an attempt to steady his voice. "Para 'to sa 'yo, Ilyong. Okay lang naman eh pero aminin mo kasi! 'Wag mo 'kong ginagago na para 'to sa'tin kasi hindi ko naman 'to gusto!"  
  
"Can you not be selfish just for once in your goddamn life?!"  
  
His jaw clenched, feeling a new wave of tears coming. He never thought he'd hear Ilyong say that. Not in this situation, not ever. Selfish, why do people keep saying that?

No, why would _Ilyong_ say that? Goyo was sure he had bared himself for him, stripped himself of every smug smirk, every wink, every defense he has until all that was left were soft smiles, wild dreams, and rough edges. He had given Ilyong his heart the minute he called him Gagoyo out of rage. His dreams were pinned on making it in this godforsaken city, in this tiny apartment with Ilyong, and now—

Goyo swallowed. Was it bad for him to wish that Ilyong would choose him the way he did?

He shook his head. “Bahala ka na sa buhay mo. Ayoko na.” He made sure the door slammed hard behind him.

* * *

 

He wonders what he is thinking. Ilyong goes from looking frustrated to worried and now the sadness that washes over him is making guilt and ache climb up Goyo’s throat. He’s not sure if he really wants to know now.

The last call for the flight makes his stomach drop. He hates this.

Goodbyes aren’t really his thing. He doesn’t call things off. Other people would do that for him; he’s done with them, they’re done with him, it’s fair. Ilyong isn’t that easy, he’s never easy, and it’s tearing him down.

How does this work? Saying goodbye to someone who he prays would stay?

He sees Ilyong crying now, roughly wiping away the tears that betray him. Goyo lets himself cry too. _As long as they weren’t the only one bleeding._

Ilyong goes inside and he doesn’t look back. The letter’s there for him to find but Goyo still hopes there’s enough loose ends for this to not be goodbye.


End file.
